"No one said this would be easy, and it isn't."

The other day I tweeted "No one said this would be easy, and it isn't."

As I have laid in my bed sick the past two days, I desperately wished I could snap my fingers and be home. There is just something comforting about being somewhere familiar when you aren't feeling 100%.

Yesterday, to get to the doctor I had to take a boda, and then three more coming home (the last one being in the middle of a dust and rain storm. The driver got lost and seriously just dropped me off on the side of the road in the unknown). A motorcycle ride was not exactly what I usually participate in while feeling bad, but here, it is just part of life.

Today, I fought negativity as I desperately wanted to be home rather than in Africa a half a world away from the people I love. 

As I felt my fever rising I went to get a Tylenol and next to the bottle I saw an envelope that said "to my sunshine." I knew that whatever was inside was bound to make me feel better. I was right. 

It was a card my mom had given to me the day I left for Africa, and it said: 

"God made you for "such a time as this!" There is strength in obedience, hope in faithfulness, and peace when you call on His wonderful Name!

Don't let your heart and mind linger at home - focus on HIM and the beautiful boys and women that need HIM. That is where you will find the joy in the midst of pain."

Today, I am finding strength in my obedience. I am finding hope in my faithfulness. I am finding peace as I call on His wonderful Name. I am choosing to focus on Him and not the things I have always known as comfort. I am seeking Him and finding joy in the midst of [quite literally] pain.

The last part of my tweet was, 

"... but it is so sweet to know that I am right in the middle of the Lords plan!"

No, it isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. There is SO much joy knowing I am in the middle of the Lords plan, and there is so much joy seeing how he is teaching me and growing me both during the good days and the hard days.

God is so good and He is my sole source of strength, hope, peace and joy. I am thankful for opportunities to learn this and thankful for the wisdom of others to teach me this.

xoxo, 

Jordan

Missing this wise momma! 

Valentines Day Convictions

During my years of college, I joyfully spent every Valentines Day without a "Valentine." By the grace of God, I truly was joyful and never was sad or upset about my singleness. Truth be known, it was probably because the majority of my closest friends were also single. 

For the past few years my house has hosted a "Celebrate Your Singleness" party, which was always so much fun. In a blog about our first party I said, "Also.... how awesome to be able to celebrate love without being in a relationship! This Valentines Day was extra special... I spent it celebrating this amazing season of life of singleness God has blessed us with, with some GREAT VALENTINES!!"

Throughout the past four years, I have posted many blogs about being content in singleness. If I could pick a platform, that definitely would be mine. I have met with girl after girl to talk about how God has allowed me to be content in him in the absence of a relationship. I know without a doubt that that has been the greatest blessing of singleness - knowing HIS love was enough. Something that I once struggled with, and was rescued from. 

This Valentines Day I am in a relationship (WITH THE GREATEST GUY IN THE WORLD). Ironically, I am also in Africa... half a world away from him. I will once again spend Valentines Day "alone" and this time without a house full of single folks that I love so much. 

................

Now, I humbly say that I may have been slightly prideful about my contentment in the Lord in the midst of singleness. I talked about it so much as if I had accomplished some huge task. Truth is, why did I think it was an accomplishment? Who else was I going to find my contentment in? I was single. 

This Valentines Day, I have a new conviction.  This Valentines Day, it will be a lot harder to find my contentment in the Lord. I will wish I was in America. I will wish I was with my Valentine. I will fight with myself to not have a pity party. 

All this to say... God has taught me a beautiful truth recently. Finding contentment in the Lord is not something that you do while single. It is something you must choose to do daily, every day of your life whether you are in a relationship, not in a relationship, married, or unmarried. No matter the status, you must choose contentment in God and in God alone (something much harder to do when there is a Valentine in the picture).

Single ladies/men: As you spend your Valentines Day single, rest in the love of your Lord. Treat this season of life as a blessing. Learn to find contentment in God alone, so that when you are in a relationship, you are able to remember God is your source of contentment... not the one you love.

For everyone else, enjoy your Valentines Day with your special someone. Praise God for placing them in your life, and remember: your contentment comes from the Lord, not from that special someone. 

xoxo, 

Jordan

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalms 73:26

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" - 1 John 3:1

Nothing But a Thief.

This morning I had two skirts to choose from. After tomorrow, the options will be all dirty clothes. Not the end of the world? Yes, I agree. 

Someone stole my clothes. Not just my clothes, but the clothes of everyone who lives in my house. They somehow managed to take all of them off the clothesline without anyone seeing them. Unfortunately, I was washing almost all of my clothes (and things that go under clothes) at the time. At first, I had a kind of "it is whatever" mentality. Then I became mad. Then I became sad. 

Mad: 

I am so mad that I don't have clothes. I am mad that money doesn't fall from trees and I can't just go buy new ones. I am mad that I can't fly home to America and go shopping at Gap to replace all my skirts. I am mad that most of those clothes I just bought, and now will never get to wear. I am mad that someone is corrupt enough to come and steal. I am mad that I can't feel safe at my own house. 

Sad: 

I am sad that I am sad about the loss of clothes. I am sad about the realization of how hard it is not to be materialistic, no matter what part of the world you live in. 

I am sad that I still own more clothes than a large population of this city. I am sad that while I still have three pairs of shoes to choose from each morning, I know over one hundred boys who don't have any at all.  (Did you realize that there are approximately 10,000 street children in Uganda?)

I am sad that stealing is a means of survival. I am sad that I had to tell a group of boys the other day that God calls us to follow him and obey Him even when it is hard, meaning they shouldn't steal even when it means that they will not eat that day. I am sad that the person who stole my clothes (I am pretty certain) sold my clothes and probably desperately needed the money he received from them.

I am sad that a justice system doesn't exist here. I am sad that the police nor the government do or honestly can do anything about the vastness of crime in this city. I am sad that because of this, individuals decide to take it into their own hands. I am sad that if someone stole my backpack and I screamed "thief," those around me would most likely stone the guilty person, and probably to his death. I am sad that thieves like this man, though they are doing an unjust thing, face intense injustice daily. 

I am sad that street children are labeled thieves. I am sad that they hear those words screamed at them on a daily basis, creating the mentality in their head that they are thieves, whether they previously were or not. I am sad that, that is now what they expect out of themselves. That is the most they think they are capable of amounting to. I am sad that many of these small boys that steal will grow up to be men who steal (if they live that long). 

I am mad about injustice. This is a perfect example of injustice, and injustice is what I came here to fight. 

Isaiah 61:8 says, 

"For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them."

Pray for the thief. Pray he knows the perfect love of our savior and is able to cultivate a life of justice. Pray that he is protected from injustice. Pray for each boys who feels like he is nothing but a thief. Pray that each of them knows they are SO much more! Pray that he not label himself as a thief, but as a son of our perfect Father who loves Him. 

Pray for justice. 

Isaiah 1:17 
Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

xoxo, 

Jordan